How Could He Lies

Sometime Life like a coffee,
sometimes life sweet sometimes bitter,in my opinion:

"There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all"

but we all lie. Social scientists acknowledge it as a deeply human trait. The most popular and socially adept among us are usually the biggest liars of all. The reasons we have for lying are of no surprise, and they range from innocent to sinister: We don’t want to hurt the people we care about, we want to control the perception other people have of us, we want to maintain or raise our status, we lie to protect our own selfish interests, and we want to control others. But as fundamental as lying seems to be to human beings, trusting relationships are also a basic human need, and as we all know, lying destroys trust.

Research shows that small lies make it easier to tell bigger lies. When you add in self-justification, sometimes the lies become so big you start to believe them yourself, until you are caught and forced to sustain the relationship-damaging consequences that deteriorate the bond you have and may ultimately end up destroying the relationship completely.
Lies often start as self-preservation, but generally turn to self-destruction. It is common to think that the consequences of telling the truth outweigh the risk of telling a lie, but even when you don’t get caught, a lie often damages the relationship.

well, most of them having some reason like  he didnt want to hurt them. A very common circumstance is a men fearing that something he did well, will go unrewarded, because of some unrelated thing that he did or didn’t do. In these situations lies of omission can work very well. Now, while it would be easy to label this person as simply narcissistic, the truth is that most people’s lies stem from a similar desire to self-preserve in some way, but are ultimately self-destructive, because lying, even if you don’t get caught, prevents you from having something most people want, which is an authentic connection and bond with another human being.

Your man lies to you because he has been vigorously trained to lie. He has been punished for not lying. He has been rewarded for lying.

Want to test if you have a good man? Ask him if he thinks that a man should have a lie-free zone. How does he feel about having people in his life that he has a comfort level being honest with? How does he feel about having other men in his life he can be honest with?

Talk about how you were taught about lying and how you were taught about being honest. Talk about how scary it is to think about the possibly negative consequences being honest in a relationship can bring.

I suggest you DO NOT play “Truth or Dare” with your partner. That is, do not probe, even in a playful way, the limits of your partner’s ability to be honest with you.